The third clue: Let go and trust the process.

Today we reinforced the boat we made yesterday to ensure that it would sail as far as it wanted.  I asked each of Leah’s children if the doll had a name and her youngest, Bruce, said it was Aja.  In that moment I knew it was true.  I had done some work with the doll on video 5 months ago before I knew I would be visiting Kenya.  The doll told me that she wanted to float on a river in Africa on a boat.  That was her aspiration.  I revisited the video this evening and was surprised by what I found there.  She embodies the part of me that is always trying to make others happy.  She is the one that is looking for external approval.  I realized that fulfilling her dream of sailing on a river in Africa was the only thing that could set her free.  I had to release her and let her find her identity alone somewhere downstream.  I can see that if she returns to Leah’s family or to me she will need new clothes that express who she really is.  Perhaps she is a redheaded African! The children and I wrote a note for whoever might find the doll downstream with Leah’s contact information. We put some lolly-pops and the note into a tiny pink doll-size backpack and carried the video equipment, toys, homemade boat and redheaded doll with her new pink backpack to the riverbank in town.Leah was the protector and the children were there to play.  We filmed the journey to the river’s edge and were met by an angry man doing some washing.  Leah called her husband who sent for some security for us. Within minutes three strong men were by our side.  The colors were a blur. I was frightened by the man who was raging about the filming. I put the camera away and as soon as I pulled the doll out of the bag I felt a wave of relief.  It might sound crazy but it was as if the doll has magical powers.  I suppose it is as true as you want it to be.  If we believe it then it is as real as any other belief that we carry.  There were children everywhere, some swam from across the river to meet us and see what we were up to.  The belligerent man was caught in a dark mind-cloud. Leah was holding the space and the children were fascinated by the doll in the boat. My work in this world became clearer today.  It is strange to say that I envision sending “peripheral beings” (stuffed animals) into the world to change people’s lives, but it is true.  I didn’t want to let the doll go but I knew she had to take the journey alone. If she wanted to return she would of her own accord. We filmed her as she took her seat on the boat and I walked her into the water to catch a current.  The children and I waved goodbye as she floated downstream.  We chased her for a while and welcomed her back to shore as the boat got caught in an eddy. Two children from the other side of the river swam to meet us.  They pulled her out into the current again and we all waved goodbye as she was finally left alone to travel in the stream of life.~Aja~